The Weight That Never Leaves
Some days i wake up and i feel it immediately. The tight knot in my chest. The buzzing in my head. The sense of something, everything is about to go wrong. I tell myself. "its just anxiety. It'll pass." But deep down, I'm not sure I believe it anymore. Anxiety feels like a shadow that stitched to my skin. No matter where I go, it follows. I could be laughing with friends, strolling through my phone, or even lying in bed trying to calm my thoughts but it's always there. Waiting, Whispering. Reminding me of every little thing that could possibly fail or lose. I'ts exhausting. Not the exhaustion sleep fixes,either. This is a bone deep weariness that comes from fighting an invisible enemy all day. People say, Don't think of it too much or just calm down. I wish they knew how much I want to. I wish they could see how hard i try to silence when it spins into what ifs
